People ordinarily think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it, who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness. You are not doing anything on your part; he deserves it. You are not really being love and compassion. Your forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don't deserve it receive it.
It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not. The question is whether your heart is ready or not.
Lezz see what Guruji says on this.....
Get Set Go.....
Q: How do I come out of the victim consciousness, esp. when past memories refuse to leave?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: The fact that you have realized this itself means you have come out of it. This is where the karma comes into the picture. Something happened in the past, it was to happen and so it happened. Accept the past and don’t brood over it, move on. Suppose you have committed some mistake, you have insulted somebody and that person holds on to it for so long, even after you have asked for forgiveness from them a million times, what do you do if that person still doesn’t forgive you? Somebody has been wrong to you and you also have been wrong to someone. Don’t you seek forgiveness and move on? You don’t want someone to hold on to your mistakes for your whole life, isn't it? If the person forgives you, moves on, understands your position, how do you feel? See the other person in the same way.
Q: When someone has done something wrong and don't even realize it how do you forgive them?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: When you forgive then your mind becomes calm. Tell them with compassion and love, not with anger. If you become happy by putting guilt in someone's mind that is not good either. Tell them with love and then you drop it.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Ya, certainly. Have a broad mindset. Suppose you were in that state. You made a mistake and you repented it, and you want your wife to forgive you. How would you feel if she doesn’t and hold on to it. How would you feel? Same way a mistake has happened through her. Some mistakes happen through you and some through her. Forget about it. Live in the present moment. Give her a chance. Move on to the future. But if it keeps happening too many times, then you can take a decision. If it is once or twice, you should give her a fair chance. If it happens more than three times, then you put your foot. I have no experience in this field. I can’t give any better advice on this. So, this could be a suggestion. I don’t know in what way has she cheated you, but it may not be so intentional. Our ‘Art of Living’s’ policy is not to see intention behind others’ mistakes. Once, twice, thrice as much as your capacity is there, you keep forgiving. But then when it comes upto your neck, you say, “No more”.
There was a king who was all the time hurling abuses at Lord Krishna, when Lord Krishna was here on the planet. This Jarasandha was insulting him, and spreading wrong rumours about him. Lord Krishna forgave him not once, twice but 100 times. His patience was 100 times. But then Lord Krishna said, “I have forgiven you 100 times. I am not going to stop now. I want to finish off you now. I have given you enough room, you didn’t change. The only way is you to be punished”. So, it depends upon our capabilities. Jesus also said to forgive. See how much patience you have. How much can you take to forgive? Not just your wife but everybody for that matter.
Q: How to find forgiveness within myself?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Why struggle to forgive? Hold onto it for this lifetime and the next lifetime. You do not need to do anything which is difficult. Forgiveness is easy. Inside every criminal there is someone crying for forgiveness. Someone who does injustice never had the opportunity to grow spiritually. Spiritual education is so essential to bring about the human qualities.
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