Mullah Nasruddin

Mulla Nasrudin was in the home of his fiancee, being given the once-over by her parents.

"Tell me young man," said his potential mother-in-law, "if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer in return?"

The Mulla smiled brightly.

"I WILL GIVE YOU A RECEIPT," he said.

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After each drink Mulla Nasrudin took a frog from his pocket, put it on the bar counter and stared at it. Eventually the barman asked him what he was up to.

"You see," said the Mulla, "so long as I can see one frog I am sober. It's when I see two that I have to do something."

"And what do you do?"

"I PICK UP THE TWO OF THEM," said Nasrudin, "PUT THEM IN MY POCKET AND GO HOME."

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Mulla Nasrudin: "Darling, Darling, there is a burglar in the house."

Mrs. Nasrudin: "What do you want me to do? Get up and run the risk of being killed."

Nasrudin: "NO. BUT IF YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING AND FIND THAT SOMEONE HAS GONE THROUGH YOUR PURSE, DON'T BLAME ME."

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Mulla Nasrudin was wandering in a graveyard. He stumbled and fell into an old grave.

Beginning to visualize how it would feel if he were dead, he heard a noise. It flashed into his mind the at the Angel of Reckoning was coming for him; though it was only a camel caravan passing by.

The Mulla jumped up and fell over a wall, stampeding several camels. The cameleers beat him with sticks.

He ran home in a distressed state. His wife asked him what was the matter, and why he was late.

"I have been dead," said the Mulla.

Interested inspite of herself, she asked him what it was like.

"NOT BAD AT ALL," said the Mulla, "UNLESS YOU DISTURB THE CAMELS.

THEN THEY BEAT YOU."

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Mulla Nasrudin asked his neighbour one day the cause of his depression.

"It's mostly because my mother-in-law lives with us," he said. "She drives me mad."

The Mulla thought for a few minutes.

"OF COURSE, THIS IS STRICTLY UNOFFICIAL,"Nasrudin said at length, BUT HAVE YOU TRIED POISON?"

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Mulla Nasrudin looked unhappy. "Is something worrying you?" asked his wife.

"Listen," said the Mulla, "I HAVE SO MANY WORRIES THAT, IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY, I WON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT IT FOR ANOTHER MONTH."

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"My father," boasted Mulla Nasrudin in the train, "knew the year, the month and the hour he was going to die."

"Good gracious!" exclaimed one of the audience. "How did he know that?"

"THE JUDGE TOLD HIM," said Nasrudin.

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"My wife is an angel Mulla."

"LUCKY YOU," said Mulla Nasrudin. "MINE IS STILL ALIVE."